Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Sweet Old Man or Serial killer?

Today at the store, I was getting ready for a party that we're having with our favorite couple....

I always grab a lasagna and mozzarella stuffed bread sticks when ever we have a drinking party nice dinner. Wandering around the frozen food section looking for bread, I passed a man-- seemingly normal, nothing weird about him until I grabbed my bread sticks from the frozen food section and threw them in my cart. All the sudden this same man runs up behind me and proclaims with much excitement:

Old Man (OM): Excuse me, what did you just grab??

Me: Um..I got some bread sticks...

OM: Bread sticks? Are they any special kind?

Me: Well...they have cheese in the middle...

OM (inching closer to my cart): What kind of cheese??

Me: Erm... Mozzarella? (backing away slightly)

OM: (inching closer): Mozzarella, Hu? Sounds good! Do they taste good??

Me: Yeah, I like them...

OM: Wait! (Inching closer) what do they taste like??

Me: (in the process of trying get away from this weirdo)..they're kinda fluffy, and uh...cheesy?

OM: What do you eat them with?? Spaghetti?

Me: Well, I guess you could, but I'm having mine with lasagna... (at this point I'm completely freaked out and turning around)

OM: (Yelling after me as I'm running away) What other good stuff do you have in that cart??

Me: ............

I'm pretty that was all a ploy to distract me. I bet he was really planning on abducting me in the middle of the frozen food section and running out with me like those crazy women do with other people's babies.

I was scared to death trying to get in my car, I bet he had been stalking me for days and knew my routine... he probably KNEW I liked mozzarella stuffed bread sticks and had been standing in the frozen food section for HOURS waiting for me to grab them.

Ted Bundy probably struck up conversations about bread sticks with his potential captives all the time...I bet that was his number one way to pick up victims.

I totally dodged a bullet...